(ro)
Daca n-ai alte planuri pentru weekend, lasa-ma sa-ti dau un pont : Thor- Ragnarok! Si daca ai…anuleaza-le!
Recunosc, desi mi-e greu sa zic “nu” unui film reusit, de cele mai multe ori evit totusi sa merg la cinema, mai ales dupa ce ultima data, la Razboiul Stelelor, am sforait 3 ore neintreupt, de am zguduit toata sala. Ce sa-i fac, nimeni nu-i perfect, iar eu, in ultima vreme, am dezvoltat un obicei nefericit de a adormi la filme, in maxim, da maaaaaaxim, primele 10 minute.

Totusi, miercurea asta, am hotarat sa accept invitatia celor de la Cinema City, asa ca impreuna cu Doamna Stefan si Domnul Miti, am hotarat sa mergem la avanpremiera filmului Thor: Ragnarok.
Si chiar daca pe internet circula zeci, sute, de articole despre motive pentru care e musai sa vedeti filmul asta, eu am hotarat sa inot impotriva curentului si sa va prezint 5 motive pentru care Thor nu mi-a placut deloc!

22883799_897919933690796_1064533270_o

1. Am plecat de la film neodihnita si cu febra musculara. Plus ca am mai varsat si nachosul pe jos.

…De ras…evident! Nu sunt o mare fana a filmelor cu super-eroi, dar Thor Renga…rockna…Ragnarok (in sfarsit mi-a iesit!) m-a cucerit definitiv si iremediabil. Filmul asta m-a tinut cu sufletul la gura, de la primul, la ultimul minut, iar umorul cu care au impachetat povestea a fost mai savuros ca niciodata. Ceea ce a fost super enervant e ca desi eu rad destul de greu la filme, de data asta am ras atat de mult, ca nici n-am mai avut timp sa adorm! E primul film, dupa multa vreme, de la care n-am plecat odihnita!

2. M-am facut verde-albastruie ( zici ca eram sora lui Hulk) si era cat pe ce sa ma sufoc

Efectele 3D au fost atat de reusite si au facut totul sa para atat de real, incat parca eram si eu acolo, langa Thor (dragu’ de el, manca-l-ar mama)…Ma rog, revenind, nu imi sta in fire sa vorbesc la superlativ, dar efectiv mi-au taiat respiratia. Si ganditi-va ca filmul a durat vreo 2 ore…
Cate Blanchett in rolul Helei, Regina Mortii
3. Filmul mi-a dat sistemul de valori peste cap si pentru prima data mi-am dorit sa fiu si eu rea

Da! Cand o sa fiu mare vreau sa ma fac Hela! (mai ales daca asta ar insemna ca peste 20 de ani sa arat si eu macar aproape de cum arata Cate in filmul asta ) Oricum, ca-n viata si ca-n orice poveste cu happy end, binele trebuia sa invinga raul. Si totusi, de data asta, mi-am dorit ca asta sa se intample cat mai tarziu, nu de alta dar Cate Blanchett, in rolul Helei e absolut hipnotizanta, iar forta cu care interpreteaza rolul Reginei Mortii e de nedescris. V-am zis, putin mai aveam, putin de tot si treceam si eu“to the dark side”.

4. Am realizat ca un morman de pietricele poate fi mai amuzant decat am fost eu vreodata

Daca atunci cand o sa fiu mare nu-mi iese treaba cu Hela, da Doamne sa fiu macar Korg! Ca pana la urma decat frumoasa si rea, mai bine uratica da’ amuzanta. Nu… deci n-ai cum! De acum inainte ma declar fan Korg (omul pietricica, cum ii zic eu) . Sincer imi pare rau ca apare doar in cateva scene dar, partea buna e ca, pe modelul “putin si bine”, si cand apare e prapad.

Thor cel grasun si uratel
5.Thor e uratel, morocanos si are burta

Da, da! Imi pare rau pentru voi! Daca Chris Hemsworth e unul din motivele pentru care si voi ati asteptat cu sufletul la gura sa vedeti filmul asta, sorry, da trebuie sa va dezamagesc. Nu stiu ce s-a intamplat cu el, dar asa cum spuneam, de data asta e uratel, morocanos si…are burta. Serios! Daca nu ma credeti, imaginile 3D, HD si asa mai departe, pot sa va confirme. Bine…stiu…si vulpea care nu ajungea la struguri spunea ca-s acri. (PS: daca mergi cu iubitul la film, nu suspina, sterge-ti balutele de la gura si prefa-te dezinteresata! )

Deci…ce planui aveti pentru weekend?

(en)
If you don’t have any plans for the weekend, let me give you a tip: Thor Ragnarok. And if you do have plans…what can I say…cancel them!
I admit, even if I find hard telling no to a good movie, I usually avoid going to the cinema, especially after that last time, when I fell asleep during Star Wars and snored so badly during those three hours, that I shook the entire place. But what can I do, nobody’s perfect, and lately, I developed a strange habit of falling asleep during every movie, after maaaaaximum 10 minutes.

Despite all that, this Wednesday, I accepted the Cinema City invitation, and together with Miss Stefan and Mister Miti, went for the Thor Ragnarok premiere. Now, considering that everywhere you look on the internet, there are a lot of articles presenting reasons why you should not miss this movie, or why you should get excited about it, I decided to go against the flow, and present you the 5 reasons why I didn’t like this movie…at all!

Impreuna cu Doamna Stefan si Domnul Miti, la avanpremiera Thor: Ragnarok

1. I left the movie theatre tired and with an incredible muscle soreness. And I also spilled my nachos

… because of all that laughing … obviously! I’m not a big superhero movies fan, but Thor Renga … rock … Ragnarok (finally I got out!) won me definitively and irremediably. This movie has kept my mouth open, from the first to the last minute, and the humor that packed the story was more savory than ever. What was really annoying is that although I’m not that kind of person that laughs on movies, this time I laughed so hard that I did not have any time to fall asleep! It’s the first movie, after a long time, which made me leave feeling unrested!

2. At some point, I got a green-blue color (which made me look like I was Hulk’s sister) and I almost suffocated myself

The 3D effects were so so good and they made everything look so real that it felt like I was there, near Thor (aaaaaawwww…my dear Thor) …Nevermind, what i’m trying to say is that, even if I don’t like talking superlative, is that they actually cut my breath. And think the movie lasted about 2 hours …

3. The movie destroyed my system of values and, for the first time, I wanted to be bad too

Yes! When I’ll grow up I want to be Hela! (especially if that means that in 20 years, I will look like Cate looked in this movie). Anyway, in life and in any happy ending story, the good always has to win. And yet, this time, I wanted this to happen as late as possible, considering that Cate Blanchett, as Hela, was absolutely hypnotizing, and the force of her performance as the Queen of Death was indescribable. I told you, I felt like I almost wanted to join “the dark side”.

4. I realized that a pile of pebbles might be more fun than I ever was

If, when I’ll grow up, I won’t get to be Hela, I hope, that at least I’ll get to be Korg! After all, being ugly and funny is so much better than being beautiful and evil. Now really, Korg is hilarious! From now on, I declare Korg (the pebble man, as I say) my all time favorite character. I honestly regret that he appears only in a few scenes, but the good part is that, when he does, he really steals the show.

5.Thor is ugly, grumpy and fat

Yes Yes! I’m sorry for you! If Chris Hemsworth is one of the reasons why you waited like crazy to see this movie, I’m sorry, but yes, I have to disappoint you. I do not know what happened to him, but as I said, this time he’s ugly, grumpy, and … fat. Seriously! If you do not believe me, the 3D, HD and all those images can confirm. Okay … I know … as the legend says, the fox that can’t reach the grapes, says they’re sour. (PS: if you go to see this movie with your lover, do not sigh, wipe your mouth off and pretend disinterested!)

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